Dissidia Shorts
by ChocoBanana Parfait
Summary: Short drabbles based on prompts from the Dissidia LJ community.
1. Onion Knight and Tidus

Disclaimer- Dissidia and all its characters belong to Square Enix

More Dissidia drabbles! All of these were based off prompts on the Dissidia LJ community.

Prompt- Any Cosmos characters combination, "I dreamt I was a moron..." (bonus cookies if it's not Squall again, XD)

* * *

Onion Knight felt light headed. 'Where in the world am I?' Instead of being in the camp, sleeping with his tent mates, he was in a city with very, very, _very_ tall buildings and tons of lights. And there was a lot of people around him, trying to get his attention. And that's when he noticed, he was taller than most of the girls, and there were kids shorter than him. Onion Knight got excited. 'Whoah, I'm big! Could this be my future?'

But then he noticed, even if he was in a bigger body, he wasn't controlling what the body was saying to the other people, and he definitely wasn't in control of the body's movements. But he didn't care, he was finally a grown up! He was relishing the feeling of being able to finally look over other people's heads when suddenly, everyone became quiet and stepped away from him. 'Huh? Did something happen?'

He felt his body bend its legs, and then start scuttling to one side, then back to the other. Scuttling, like some kind of, crab or something. After that, his body bent its arms and kept moving, then freezing, then moving again a little bit, then freezing again. 'What in the world is this?!'

His body did more crazy motions- flapping its arms like a crazy bird, punching wildly at the air, and then the worst thing happened. His body started to sing, and the voice was not pleasing to the ear at all. But the people around him were cheering and clapping and saying "You're the best! Keep going!"

Onion Knight couldn't take it anymore, he was making a fool of himself! This body was horrible! He needed to find a way out, but didn't know how to leave someone's body since he didn't even know how he got in. Filled with frustration and embarrassment, he let out a loud scream.

"AHHH NO! STOP IT!!!!!"

Onion Knight bolted up. He was back in his tent again, everyone sleeping except for one person who got woken up because of Onion Knight's yell.

"Hey kid," Tidus rubbed his eyes sleepily, "you alright there?"

Onion Knight turned to look at him with wide eyes. "No, I dreamt I was a moron..."


	2. Squall and Ultimecia

Disclaimer- Dissidia and all its characters belong to Square Enix

Prompt- Ultimecia, Squall, time loop

* * *

He was getting sick of this. If he didn't succeed this time, he'd just go straight after Chaos, or maybe even take down Cosmos, just to end the ridiculous situation he was in.

The first time they were all called to gather their crystals, he decided to go with Terra and Onion Knight, because he did feel pretty bad leaving a girl and a child to journey alone. And who knows what Rinoa and Selphie would've done to him if they heard about this, even if they never would. As they traveled, they picked up Onion Knight's and Terra's crystals, and Squall found out that they were capable of defending themselves without his help, but he would still was first as a guard.

When they reached Ultimecia, he drew his sword, ready to lash out at her. But instead of defending, the witch just extended a hand towards him and smiled, and the world turned black.

---

He found himself back at the beginning, when everyone was first called together to be warriors of Cosmos. He was stunned, was everything that happened just a dream? Seeing his state of confusion and mistaking it for shock, the others decided to let him travel with the Warrior of Light, because he seemed like a strong and capable companion.

They tore through battles with imitations with ease, and even ran into a few warriors of Chaos without much trouble. When he reached Ultimecia again, she just smiled and the world went black again before he could even draw his gunblade.

---

He grit his teeth and kept going. He traveled with Cloud and Frioniel and didn't care much about finding his reason for fighting like they cared. He went with Tidus and Cecil and found their talk about fighting family members aggravating. He was _this_ close to using Lionheart on Zidane and Bartz because they were pulling and dragging him everywhere and acted like immature children.

Before she turned him away again, he yelled in frustration. "When are you going to end this?!"

Yellow eyes gleamed at him "When I know I can break you."

---

This would be his last journey. If she wanted him vulnerable and alone, she would be in for a surprise. He would show her that he can take her down, even if he wasn't with any other warriors. And before the warriors started to talk about splitting off into groups, he headed off on his own, knowing exactly where she was waiting for him.


	3. Cloud of Darkness

Disclaimer- Dissidia and all its characters belong to Square Enix

Prompt- Cloud of Darkness' tentacles and their apparently different personalities....

* * *

Cloud of Darkness was getting for battle against Cecil, and while one tentacle was excited and wriggling around, the other tentacle was hanging limply.

'What's wrong with you?' Right Tentacle asked.

'We're fighting another guy with armor,' Left Tentacle replied morosely.

'I know, isn't it great?!' Right Tentacle was practically flailing around.

'Ugh, I don't know what kind of obsession you have with hitting hard armor, but it hurts me a lot.' Left Tentacle scrunched up its mouth.

'But that's the rush I look for! All these guys hiding goodies behind their armor, and once you crack them, BOOM! They're wide open,' Right Tentacle cackled.

Left Tentacle rolled its imaginary eyes. 'Instead of going through all that work, don't you just wanna hit them straight in the abs with nothing in the way? I just love feeling up some washboard abs.'

Right Tentacle gave Left Tentacle a disgusted look. 'And feel all their sweat? No thanks.'

And before Left Tentacle could make another retort, Cloud of Darkness sent both tentacles forward to smush their faces against Cecil's armor, one happy and one sad.


	4. Kefka and warriors of Chaos

Disclaimer- Dissidia and all its characters belong to Square Enix

Prompt- Everyone or Anyone but mainly Kefka, Kefka's trying to poison the water supply! ...again!

* * *

Kefka was bored. These daily "meetings" with the other members of Chaos were not very amusing, and that did not please Kefka. So instead of hearing the Emperor and the Witch drone on and on, he looked around and noticed weird things about everyone's outfit or bodies, like where did Cloud of Darkness's tentacles come out from, if Kuja and Monkey Boy are brothers, where is Kuja's tail, and why does Jecht always have sand coming out from his pants?

And then he noticed- despite being pretty evil, everyone had very pretty, silky hair. He would have to do something to fix this.

---

"WHERE IS THAT CLOWN?!" Kefka smiled at hearing Kuja's angry voice. If he was angry, then it meant his plan worked on someone. Now to see if he had other victims...

Kefka turned around to face the angry mage. "Were you looking for me?" he asked with a huge, devilish grin on his face.

Kuja's hair was sticking out wildly in all directions, like a lion's mane, and not because he was angry. "What did you put in the water?"

Kefka wriggled his fingers and hopped in place for a bit. "Nothing harmful and life-threatening, if that's what you mean."

"_Not_ life threatening!?" The Emperor came into view, his long hair all in knots. Behind him, Ultimecia was sporting a very curly afro, and charging up a Shockwave Pulsar. "How am I supposed to go about my evil business if I look like a fool?!"

"Now now everyone, no need to be so melodramatic," Kefka replied with a skip. "You guys should try changing your hair into different styles, it can be liberating to not spend so much time fixing your hair like you all do."

"Just because you're a freak, doesn't mean you have to make us look like freaks as well!" Everyone turned to look at Cloud of Darkness, whose hair was flowing down in long, silver waves and looked as good as Kuja's hair did on a normal day.

Ultimecia's jaw dropped. "Why does you hair look so good?"

Cloud of Darkness was livid. "This limp hair is _good_?! It doesn't do my tentacles justice!"

As the warriors of Chaos yelled and whined about their ridiculous hair, Kefka started to back away and observe the entertaining scene, when he bumped into a body. He turned around to be face-to-face with Sephiroth, whose long hair looked like it was all glued together and stiff. "You, clown, did you put Herbal Essences into the water?"

Kefka's face fell. "You weren't supposed to find out this quickly. But yes, I did." And he teleported away before everyone else could demolish him.

---

In another corner, Golbez was quite depressed, because his normally shiny and flowing hair was wiry and poking out from under his helmet because it wouldn't fit properly. He sighed, and turned to face Jecht, who was sitting next to him with his normal hair style, watching everyone trying to catch Kefka and failing. "Didn't you take a bath today?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Why is your hair fine? Everyone who used the public baths should have been affected by Kefka's trick."

"Psh. Don't you know, real men wash themselves in the ocean!"

* * *

Note- no offense to people who do use Herbal Essences, but whenever I use it, my hair turns stringy and sticky, and I don't have good experiences after using it ^^;;


End file.
